Friday, January 16, 2015

Rebecca Solnit's "In Praise of the Threat: What Marriage Equality Really Means" (2013)

Solnit on marriage equity and the real power of same-sex marriage, a few passages:

"Because a marriage between two people of the same gender is inherently egalitarian––one partner may happen to have more power in any number of ways, but for the most part it's a relationship between people who have equal standing and so are free to define their roles themselves" (Solnit, Men Explain Things to Me, 62).


“Gay men and lesbians have already opened up the question of what qualities and roles are male and female in ways that can be liberating for straight people.  When they marry, the meaning of marriage is likewise opened up.  No hierarchical traditions underlines their union.  Some people have greeted this with joy.  A Presbyterian pastor who had performed a number of such marriages told me, ‘I remember coming to this realization when I was meeting with same-sex couples before performing their ceremonies when it was legal in California.  The old patriarchal default settings did not apply in their relationships, and it was a glorious thing to witness” (Solnit 63). 



“It’s time to slam the door shut on that era.  And to open another door, through which we can welcome equality: between genders, among marital partners, for everyone in every circumstance.  Marriage equality is a threat: to inequality. It’s a boon to everyone who values and benefits from equality.  It’s for all of us” (Solnit 65).  

Rape is a Civil Rights Issue

If you care about yourself and the rest of the women on this planet, you will read Rebecca's Solnit's Men Explain Things to Me as soon as possible.

Here are two passages to get you started:


“There are other things I’d rather write about, but this affects everything else.  The lives of half of humanity are still dogged by, drained by, and sometimes ended by this pervasive variety of violence.  Think of how much more time and energy we would have to focus on other things that matter if we weren’t so busy surviving.  Look at it this way: one of the best journalists I know is afraid to walk home at night in our neighborhood. Should she stop working late?  How many women have had to stop doing their work, or being stopped from doing it, for similar reasons?  It’s clear not that monumental harassment online keeps many women from speaking up or writing altogether” (Solnit Men Explain Things to Me 36-37). 

“The New Delhi rape and murder of Jyoti Singh, the twenty-three-year-old who was studying physiotherapy so that she could better herself while helping others, and the assault on her male companion (who survived) seem to have triggered the reaction that we have needed for one hundred, or one thousand, or five thousand years. May she be to women—and men—worldwide that Emmett Till, murdered by white supremacists in 1955, was to African Americans and the then-nascent US Civil right movement.

We have far more than eighty-seven thousand rapes in this country every year, but each of them is invariably portrayed as an isolated incident.  We have dots so close they’re splatters melting into a stain, but hardly anyone connects them, or names that stain.  In India they did.  They said that this is a civil rights issue, it’s a human rights issue, it’s everyone’s problem, it’s not isolated, and it’s never going to be acceptable again.  It has to change.  It’s your job to change it, and mine, and ours” (Solnit 38).  

Friday, January 9, 2015

A must read

As I walk back into the classroom next week, I will thinking very carefully about this article and it's core message:

"In a society rife with theories and practices that flatten and shrink and chill the human subject, the humanist is the dissenter" (Leon Wieseltier)

Maybe I will teach this essay on the first day.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/18/books/review/among-the-disrupted.html

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

You Are a Badass

As the days before I have to get back into the classroom dwindle, I am trying to finish this self-help number that I purchased a few days before Christmas. And, yes, I did buy it because of the title. I'll post something more significant about it when I finish it:

http://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Badass-Doubting-Greatness/dp/0762447699/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1420511621&sr=8-1&keywords=you+are+a+badass


Guys, Patti Smith...

Guys, Patti Smith has earned a Golden Globe nomination for her song––they are calling it a lullaby "Mercy Is," which she produced for Darren Aronofsky's "Noah."

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/08/movies/awardsseason/subversive-and-smart-scores-raise-the-volume-in-oscar-talk.html

Think this can't be beat, oh, but it can. Patti covering Rihanna's Stay––one of my secret favorite songs (possibly of all time)––live at Webster Hall in December 2013. I hope she takes this one to the studio. And the real question becomes, where have I been?  Living under a rock? I have not listened to the song about thirty times on repeat. It is so beautiful.

Here you go my pretties:

http://www.thestar.com/entertainment/stargazing_blog/2014/01/patti_smith_sings_rihanna_s__stay_.html

And I know it is superficial, but leave it to Patti to be just on-trend enough to get a god-damn lob and make it look utterly incredible. Can I be just one drop like her by the time I'm 68?  I am in love:


What I really love about Patti Smith is her quiet authenticity.

Monday, January 5, 2015

Burlington, VT

I spent the past weekend in Burlington, VT, at One-of-A Kind Bed and Breakfast, where proprietor Maggie Sherman has created a lovely oasis right on Lake Champlain. Burlington is the kind of place I could imagine settling down for the long haul. Seems like the kind of college town where adults still manage to have social lives and do things with their children other than attend soccer games––that's another topic, though, because I have serious anxiety about raising children in the suburbs of the very boring city where I live.

But in the meantime, check out Maggie's website. She is a former artist and true local and will ofter great hospitality:

http://www.oneofakindbnb.com

We stayed in the suite, and I felt right at home. The only problem was that it reignited my deep, deep, desire to own and renovate a house someday.  Someday.



Lana Del Ray in concert

Am I too old and tired to drive to Montreal, QC to see Lana Del Ray in concert in July. Part of me says, "yes, absolutely." The other part says, "I don't want to grow up."

At any rate, she is playing half the shows with special guest, none other than, Courtney Love Cobain, in tow, but I definitely cannot go all the way to CA to see Del Ray and Love.

Here are the details:

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/lana-del-rey-courtney-love-plot-joint-2015-tour-20141201

Lana Del Ray and Courtney Love

In Performance/Courtney Love/NYTimes

http://www.nytimes.com/video/theater/100000003425633/in-performance-courtney-love.html?smid=nytimesarts


Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Wide leg pants

Are you bored of skinny, super skinny, impossibly skinny jeans yet? I am. And it seems to me that there is only one way to go now given that skinny jeans have been popular for so many years running: wide, and even pleated. Karlie Kloss looks amazing in this pair (far left), and I wonder if they would look as good on someone (me!) who is nowhere near as tall:


And, guess what my pretties, Old Navy has a fairly similar pair, for under $40.00:




And there is a short version as well:



Score!



This coat...

I am not sure that I feel compelled to give Kendall Jenner any more press than she already gets, but I can't stop thinking about this coat. Gosh, the bias cut, and the way that it falls over her body is just perfect. Makes me realize how good it feels to have a great fitting coat. I have not had one in years, since I bought myself a J.Crew Plaza coat and wore it for a decade straight, until it not longer fit and was beyond repair.  I am trying to figure out who makes it. Probably costs an arm and a leg, but worth investigating.



No the no-resolution, resolution.

This post is just a link to a Huffington Post article, but, man, I was so relieved when I found it this morning. I was thinking about resolutions, and how to explain that I don't normally do resolutions so much as set intentions for the year. Maybe the intentions are closer to goals, I am not sure. It is hard to describe how I interpret this ritual. What I do know is that after 36 years I have finally figured out this old, you already have everything you need mantra. You do. I do. And so I think that Pema is right: there is no need for "self-improvement." You look fine. Your house looks fine. Your fit enough. So maybe this year, the resolution might be to just keep doing what you are doing. Stay the course. Travel your path:


That doesn't mean you get a free-pass, however. It is more like you don't have to try to so hard, because the universe will serve up plenty of new opportunities for you (for us!) to deal with what we need to deal with. Pema says it as Pema says it: "Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to learn." And, I think, that when we see life as just one big learning project, one big day at school, maybe everything becomes less scary, and more evocative and exciting instead. I mean, what's so wrong with being schooled if you need to be schooled. (Plus: I was always so good at school!)




PEACE!

Stop saying sorry.

Women as one of my students this semester reminded me through her end-of-the-semester research project are always apologizing. Always. For. Everything. We need to stop. I need to stop. I am going to try to say, sorry, far less frequently this year. I am only going to use the word when I truly mean it, when I have a good reason to apologize and I am not going to use it every time someone steps in front of me, or every time I do something that I perceive as annoying to others. I am not, in other words, going to apologize for my very self, for existing. And you should not either.

http://time.com/2895799/im-sorry-pantene-shinestrong/

And, so, too, I am not going to negate my own power.



Let's change this old sticky to, I'm not sorry! 

What's your word-of-the-year for 2015?

What is your word-of-the-year for 2015? In response to a recent afternoon with a tarot card reader who used the Mother Peace deck––a copy of which I own, and which I found at a street-sale in San Francisco in the late 90s, and which was conceived of the year that I was born, 1978––my word is: ALLOW.

The "Magician" card came up in the reading, too, and well, in response, I am planning to wear a lot more leopard print this year. Have to get it out of my system, or have to get it in my system, I should say.

http://www.motherpeace.com



What is yours?

Monday, December 29, 2014

On invulnerability

In Todd May's piece in today's New York Times he opens with the question that many of us ask ourselves at this time of the year: how can I improve my life in the coming year? Sometimes, for the morally inclined, this also means asking ourselves how we can become better people––better at taking care of ourselves, our relationships, our work, and other things that we try to dedicate ourselves to.  He suggests that we often look toward philosophy and religion to help us achieve a "tranquil state." And one of the ways that Eastern religions such as Buddhism, Stoicism, and Taoism, teach us to do this is through detaching from desire and the emotional states created by desire (and the frustration of desire). While this detaching might help us create what May calls "invulnerablism"and may help us navigate the "world's vicissitudes," he suggests that it can also create a state in which we are too far removed from the world and do not experience a range of emotions - from grief to joy (although to be honest, I have tons of trouble with the word joy, but more on that later).  Thus, his question is, do we want this kind of distance from our emotions, our very lives?

Invulnerabilism recommends that we secrete a distance between ourselves and the world so that ultimately it cannot touch us. The extremity of such a view can be illustrated by reference to the Stoic’s ratification of the ancient philosopher Anaxagoras’ reported remark upon hearing of his son’s death: “I always knew that my child was a mortal.” It is possible perhaps that some few among us can reach this degree of distance from the world. But the question is, do we want it? I suspect I am not alone in thinking that the death of one of my children should shatter me, even if it should not ultimately destroy me.

His answer is a resounding, no. We don't want so much distance between ourselves and the world, or from our emotions that we fail to experience life and all that it has to offer:


Most of us want to feel caught up in the world. We want to feel gripped by what we do and those we care about, involved with them, taken up by them. The price of this involvement is our vulnerability. We must stand prepared to feel the loss of what we care about, because that is part of what it means to care. Caring requires desiring for the sake of others, which in an uncertain world entails that that desiring can be frustrated.
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/12/27/against-invulnerability/




Sunday, December 28, 2014

More winter beauty...

Oh, and one needs a new lipstick or lipgloss to get through the winter as well. I couldn't decide what I wanted, I wanted some serious color but my old standby, Fresh's Sugar Lip Treatment in Berry, suddenly seemed too bright, too young, and not moody enough to match how I have been feeling lately.  (But I bought a new Fresh Sugar Lip Treatment in Berry just to keep it around, because it is a never-fail, go-to.)



When in doubt, I go back to Bobbi Brown. Her colors for both lips and cheeks are pretty much flawless and the formula's are so wearable that you don't feel like you are wearing makeup, makeup. I couldn't land on a lipstick color that made sense, so I went to the lipgloss. I surprised myself by circling around and around and finally buying this one, a plum with gold flecks. It's totally ock n' roll:





Maybe, I'm feeling just a little bit Brooklyn, baby...